MAI IVFJÄLL

@astral.flowers
www.ivfjall.info

Mai Ivfjäll is a bilingual poet based in Stockholm (by way of Atlanta). She is a member of the experimental Danish writing group Hekseskolen and co-edits HYENA. Her on-going project exploring chronic illness through tanka poetry can be found at 57577etc.tumblr.com.

POETRY EXPLORING CHRONIC ILLNESS (featuring photographic images)

(in English / englanniksi)

ATTEMPTING PSYCHOKINETIC CONNECTIONS TO CLOUDS

longing to be
wounded i become the wound
longing to be
nothing i become everything
i’m a glutton 4 sorrow
GLACIAL ERRATIC

i fetishize
nature words — crooning algae
adiantum
                    as my maidenhair
                    washes down the drain

knife in my
pocket to cut plant stems
                    as i crave
propagating solitude
                    your verdant hag

WEEP HOLE

i want to eat
every daisy
& dandelion
i see 

i want to swallow
the rain
as if
it were your come
or drink the rain
like piss
if pee tasted
like memaw's sweet tea
which i pretend it does 

sex acts involving urine seem pretty boring
but i'll try anything once
we've had sex at least 10,000 times
i guess we will have sex 10,000 times more
what is there left to do?

we laugh
& we laugh

everyone we love is dying
or dead
i'm dying too - maybe

i begin to conceptualize closeness
i've never been the kind
to think about touching
but it is usually nice
what is there left to do?

women’s bane
wolf’s bane
queen of all poisons -
so many ways of saying
flower power

i am attempting telekinetic
connections to clouds
but i just end up 

in THE CLOUD

adblock all the art bros
of the anthropocene
that are having emotional responses
to the end of nature

my body falls apart with the moon
but this isn’t a period poem
it’s a poem period
or maybe it’s a weep hole
i’m a weep hole
helping lessen
the spiritstatic load
on the masonry of whatever
CALL ME PERSEPHONE

the days grow shorter
i sink down
          down
          down
                    marry the pain underneath
                    snow & dirt
                    fuck the pain
                    slowly, quickly, not at all
                    let it linger
                    unravel it onto the marmoleum
                    of the hospital floor
                    let the pain become a prayer
                    let the prayer become
                    an incantation
                    a lullaby
                    a dirge

tender, porous, rare, wild, soft, sensitive

                    the days grow longer
                    the pain becomes
                    light & shadow
                    on my bedroom wall
                    becomes a song
                    becomes a bud, a leaf, a bird
                    is gone
LANDESCAPE

how to heal
& not lose oneself
in sterility
        wild heart lingering as i
                    invoke my daemon sisters
PICA

the moon eats herself
like i eat the landscape like
                    my body eats her
selves is this nourishment
or violence is consumption care